I've finally found what i can be very passionate about doing as work.
It challenges me and keeps putting me out of my comfort zone.
It also testes my patience,will power,passion,emotional control,etc.
Many people have kindly advised me to take small steps,to do it the safe way,to be wise.
I respect and take in all they have said and i form my own opinion based on it,i don't
let their realities be forced into mine.
Stubborn,yes im in a way that i know what i want and who i want to be and im not letting anything stop me in my path.Thats how successful people are created they are stubborn in that sense.
I was under alot of pressure,pressure that would have broken my fighting spirit and made me give up and follow what everyone else does.
My fire was put down till it was low,but my inner voice my inner self couldn't just sit back and watch as the flame burns out.
As the flame was dying out the fighting spirit in me kept it burning and slowly the flame burned larger and brighter than ever before.
I have found new strength.
I know myself i know what i m limited and capable of doing,and i've had always short changed myself.
I know im capable of so much more,i know that all my setbacks have made me who im today.
Because of this i know that i can handle pressure without breaking.
Im not going to quit and i will keep going at it even if im faced with many setbacks.
I see them as challenges instead of obstacle and i find that i have the ability to move beyond them.
When i encounter problems i will climb over,go around,or go under until i reach my goal.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Life's a lesson
We tend to learn things the hard way.
Because it's easier not to change.
Im sure you know what im talking about.
We don't change and keep doing what we are doing until we hit a brick wall.
We are creatures of habit.We keep doing what we are doing until we are forced to change.
Setbacks in life are the turning points of our lives.
The universe is always nudging us with gentle signals.
When we ignore the signals,it nudges us with a sledgehammer.
Growth is most painful when we resist it.
Successful people are people who don't go looking for problems but when problems come they deal with them by asking themselves "what is great about this problem,how can i counter it?"
Losers ask themselves "why is my luck so bad,why does everything bad happens to me?"
See the differences?
We are continually being presented with lessons.Unless we learn the lessons,we get to take them again...and again....and again.
Thats why we get setbacks after setbacks after setbacks,because there is a lesson we are not learning from it.
Until we learn a lesson we either stay stuck on the same lesson or keep getting the same lesson in different packages.
Life goes like this.We get hit by little pebbles -as a kind of warning.
When we ignore the pebbles,we get hit by a brick.
Ignore the brick and we get wiped out by a boulder.
If we're honest,we can see where we have ignored the warning signs.
And then we have the nerve to say: "why me?"
Because it's easier not to change.
Im sure you know what im talking about.
We don't change and keep doing what we are doing until we hit a brick wall.
We are creatures of habit.We keep doing what we are doing until we are forced to change.
Setbacks in life are the turning points of our lives.
The universe is always nudging us with gentle signals.
When we ignore the signals,it nudges us with a sledgehammer.
Growth is most painful when we resist it.
Successful people are people who don't go looking for problems but when problems come they deal with them by asking themselves "what is great about this problem,how can i counter it?"
Losers ask themselves "why is my luck so bad,why does everything bad happens to me?"
See the differences?
We are continually being presented with lessons.Unless we learn the lessons,we get to take them again...and again....and again.
Thats why we get setbacks after setbacks after setbacks,because there is a lesson we are not learning from it.
Until we learn a lesson we either stay stuck on the same lesson or keep getting the same lesson in different packages.
Life goes like this.We get hit by little pebbles -as a kind of warning.
When we ignore the pebbles,we get hit by a brick.
Ignore the brick and we get wiped out by a boulder.
If we're honest,we can see where we have ignored the warning signs.
And then we have the nerve to say: "why me?"
Regenerate
I grew my wings last year only to lose them again.
I thought to myself,i gave my all and managed to grow wings finally but now these very wings were torn and i felt helpless.
How could my clipped wings ever be back again.
But you know what i grew new wings again this year.
It through determination and strong belief in yourself.
Never doubt what you are capable of doing.
God or who or whatever has given us everything we can ever ask for.
Its our mind.
How you use it determines your life.
Don't bother praying to God for help,for God helps those who helps themselves and besides he has given us everything .
Its your duty to find out what you have and how to use it.
If you feel that your wings are gone don't be despair for you can grow new wings and they are stronger than the ones before.
I thought to myself,i gave my all and managed to grow wings finally but now these very wings were torn and i felt helpless.
How could my clipped wings ever be back again.
But you know what i grew new wings again this year.
It through determination and strong belief in yourself.
Never doubt what you are capable of doing.
God or who or whatever has given us everything we can ever ask for.
Its our mind.
How you use it determines your life.
Don't bother praying to God for help,for God helps those who helps themselves and besides he has given us everything .
Its your duty to find out what you have and how to use it.
If you feel that your wings are gone don't be despair for you can grow new wings and they are stronger than the ones before.
GO GO GO Elias
HAhaha.Im charging forth for my dreams,goals etc.
You should too,think big and kick ass.
Never give up on your dreams,live each day as if it was your last.
Dare to dream,for dreams makes us feel alive.
Never let others put you down.
I will be going forth on my journey towards my dreams and i know im going to make it.
If your life is not what you want it to be,don't be afraid to ask yourself whether you are doing what you want and what is right for you.
No matter how old you are measure yourself against your own feelings,ambitions,and goals,not those of others.That might mean standing up to friends,family,and colleagues who think they know what is best for you.
PLug in to your own electricity.
It might flow better through another socket.
Don't conform to the opinions of others,seek and gather your own opinions.
Others might mean you well, they are sincerely looking out for you but that doesn't mean that they are right because they can be sincerely wrong.
As in my case,my friend chan always advised me to be grounded,don't aim for the sky.
He is not wrong neither is he right,its just his side of the story our duty towards ourselves is to listen to all this advices but never base your decision on them just take them as references,you form your own side of the story and react accordingly.
I shall leave you with this:
“ Procrastination is opportunity’s assassin.”
- Victor Kiam
You should too,think big and kick ass.
Never give up on your dreams,live each day as if it was your last.
Dare to dream,for dreams makes us feel alive.
Never let others put you down.
I will be going forth on my journey towards my dreams and i know im going to make it.
If your life is not what you want it to be,don't be afraid to ask yourself whether you are doing what you want and what is right for you.
No matter how old you are measure yourself against your own feelings,ambitions,and goals,not those of others.That might mean standing up to friends,family,and colleagues who think they know what is best for you.
PLug in to your own electricity.
It might flow better through another socket.
Don't conform to the opinions of others,seek and gather your own opinions.
Others might mean you well, they are sincerely looking out for you but that doesn't mean that they are right because they can be sincerely wrong.
As in my case,my friend chan always advised me to be grounded,don't aim for the sky.
He is not wrong neither is he right,its just his side of the story our duty towards ourselves is to listen to all this advices but never base your decision on them just take them as references,you form your own side of the story and react accordingly.
I shall leave you with this:
“ Procrastination is opportunity’s assassin.”
- Victor Kiam
Follow your heart
THE TEN CONCEPTS:
1:We are here to learn lessons,and the world is our teacher.
2:The universe has no favourites.
3:Your life is a perfect reflection of your beliefs.
4:The moment you get too attached to things,people,money..you screw it up.
5:What you focus on in life expands.
6:God is never going to come down from a cloud and say,"You now have permission to be successful!"
7:FOllow your heart
8:When you fight life,life always wins.
9:How do you love people?Just accept them.
10:Our mission in life is not to change the world-our mission is to change ourselves.
1:We are here to learn lessons,and the world is our teacher.
2:The universe has no favourites.
3:Your life is a perfect reflection of your beliefs.
4:The moment you get too attached to things,people,money..you screw it up.
5:What you focus on in life expands.
6:God is never going to come down from a cloud and say,"You now have permission to be successful!"
7:FOllow your heart
8:When you fight life,life always wins.
9:How do you love people?Just accept them.
10:Our mission in life is not to change the world-our mission is to change ourselves.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Video of me doing a short drum fill
just decided to record a video of me doing a short drum fill for fun.
Still needs lots of practice.he.
The beginning is just warming up the drum fill is towards the end.
Still needs lots of practice.he.
The beginning is just warming up the drum fill is towards the end.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Focus shift
First day of school at ite.
I was not very excited to go to school as it was bitter sweet,bitter because the school sucks i mean look at it and sweet because its a new life for me.
Walking pass the front gates and towards school i saw what turned out to be a BAKA waving at me.
Upon getting closer and having a better look it turns out that the BAKA was the girl who was at the interview with me.
She is Lijuan hahaha.
I felt relieved as at least there is someone familiar around.
As bad and sucky the school is compared to ite simei,as long as you get used to it its ok.haha.
Some good points...hmmmm ok more like 1 good point only and that is cheap food thats about it.hahah.
Lijuan lend me a book its andrew matthews being happy.
That book was the start of how my life has changed so radically.
I started to realised many things.
Will share with you what they are for the next post so stay tuned .....meanwhile watch yama onna kabe onna on crunchyroll.com.hahaha.
I was not very excited to go to school as it was bitter sweet,bitter because the school sucks i mean look at it and sweet because its a new life for me.
Walking pass the front gates and towards school i saw what turned out to be a BAKA waving at me.
Upon getting closer and having a better look it turns out that the BAKA was the girl who was at the interview with me.
She is Lijuan hahaha.
I felt relieved as at least there is someone familiar around.
As bad and sucky the school is compared to ite simei,as long as you get used to it its ok.haha.
Some good points...hmmmm ok more like 1 good point only and that is cheap food thats about it.hahah.
Lijuan lend me a book its andrew matthews being happy.
That book was the start of how my life has changed so radically.
I started to realised many things.
Will share with you what they are for the next post so stay tuned .....meanwhile watch yama onna kabe onna on crunchyroll.com.hahaha.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
AS HE THINKETH IN HIS HEART,SO IS HE
CONTINUED>>>>
After that day i lost my faith,confidence,esteem,everything.
I lost the will to carry on,i lost the ability to think big and expect good things.
I felt that i would never again have expectations of having good things,i was not going to aim for the sky anymore.
I had rebuilt myself till i was at the peak and things were going good for me.
Till i fell all the way from the top,i was broken inside out.
I thought to myself
"i have no more strength left to pick myself up anymore for i have done so so many times in just a short period of time."
I was tired,dead heart in a dead world.
I was telling some of my friends that im a dead heart in a dead world.
I gave all i've got and i have nothing left within me to go forth.
I no longer believed in anything anymore.
I have given up totally.
That was how it was.
SO THE QUESTION NOW IS THIS>
How could a person that broken,dead and lost all his strength etc and still managed to pick himself up and live again?
And if i can do it so can any of you.Simple as that.Read on>>>
Dinah and timothy was there for me when i was broken,and i broke down a few times.
It was just horrible.Its thanks to them too that im who im today.
Then i left the job.
A good friend,Chan told me that i shouldn't try to reach for sky that i should be grounded.
He is a wise guy and he said that he have seem many people and he knows about things and that he asked me for my birthday before and he could tell that i wasn't meant to make it big that i can only live my life roughing it out as a commoner.
Hearing that kept me grounded but it killed me as to hear something like that and i started to believe so too.
I know he meant well.
My friend Daniel,introduced me to watch bleach an anime.
And so i watched and i also watched naruto.
Naruto inspired me a great deal and it strengthen me during that dark period.
Naruto has a never say die attitude and so he never backs out and give up no matter how badly beaten he was.
It touched me and i then adopted his attitude.
And he also strongly believes in himself that he will make it big.
His fighting spirit sparked the fire to burn within me again.
.
I received a letter from ite stating that it is the last open registration for some courses.
I looked through and thought no way am i goign to ite.
I never went to ite after my o levels because its the last of the worst,theres no way i was going to enter ite.
It will be like backtracking because my o levels qualification is higher than a ite cert.
Then soon after some time,i decided to give it a try anyway since im left with nothing to lose.
The only course i was interested was digital audio and video production because of that one word-digital audio.HAhahaha.
I wanted the class at ite simei but no more vacancy,damn what a kick in the middle region.
It was only available at ang mo kio,and i was resentful as ite amk is one of the worst ite.HAHAHA.Don't listen to the crap about go west,go to ang mo kio thats bull....hahah ok moving on...
And so i interviewed for it and got through.
It was bitter sweet.You can guess why.
TO BE CONTINUED AGAIN>>>....
AND oh one more thing,thanks to all who are reading and have been reading.
Happy now LIjuan?hahah.
After that day i lost my faith,confidence,esteem,everything.
I lost the will to carry on,i lost the ability to think big and expect good things.
I felt that i would never again have expectations of having good things,i was not going to aim for the sky anymore.
I had rebuilt myself till i was at the peak and things were going good for me.
Till i fell all the way from the top,i was broken inside out.
I thought to myself
"i have no more strength left to pick myself up anymore for i have done so so many times in just a short period of time."
I was tired,dead heart in a dead world.
I was telling some of my friends that im a dead heart in a dead world.
I gave all i've got and i have nothing left within me to go forth.
I no longer believed in anything anymore.
I have given up totally.
That was how it was.
SO THE QUESTION NOW IS THIS>
How could a person that broken,dead and lost all his strength etc and still managed to pick himself up and live again?
And if i can do it so can any of you.Simple as that.Read on>>>
Dinah and timothy was there for me when i was broken,and i broke down a few times.
It was just horrible.Its thanks to them too that im who im today.
Then i left the job.
A good friend,Chan told me that i shouldn't try to reach for sky that i should be grounded.
He is a wise guy and he said that he have seem many people and he knows about things and that he asked me for my birthday before and he could tell that i wasn't meant to make it big that i can only live my life roughing it out as a commoner.
Hearing that kept me grounded but it killed me as to hear something like that and i started to believe so too.
I know he meant well.
My friend Daniel,introduced me to watch bleach an anime.
And so i watched and i also watched naruto.
Naruto inspired me a great deal and it strengthen me during that dark period.
Naruto has a never say die attitude and so he never backs out and give up no matter how badly beaten he was.
It touched me and i then adopted his attitude.
And he also strongly believes in himself that he will make it big.
His fighting spirit sparked the fire to burn within me again.
.
I received a letter from ite stating that it is the last open registration for some courses.
I looked through and thought no way am i goign to ite.
I never went to ite after my o levels because its the last of the worst,theres no way i was going to enter ite.
It will be like backtracking because my o levels qualification is higher than a ite cert.
Then soon after some time,i decided to give it a try anyway since im left with nothing to lose.
The only course i was interested was digital audio and video production because of that one word-digital audio.HAhahaha.
I wanted the class at ite simei but no more vacancy,damn what a kick in the middle region.
It was only available at ang mo kio,and i was resentful as ite amk is one of the worst ite.HAHAHA.Don't listen to the crap about go west,go to ang mo kio thats bull....hahah ok moving on...
And so i interviewed for it and got through.
It was bitter sweet.You can guess why.
TO BE CONTINUED AGAIN>>>....
AND oh one more thing,thanks to all who are reading and have been reading.
Happy now LIjuan?hahah.
Monday, November 19, 2007
DESTROY ERASE IMPROVE
The posts were meant for my own,they were written for me alone.
Like a musician who writes his music for his own passion and if people like thats good and if they don't it doesn't matter.
As i have stated before the post are meant as leverage for myself.
Judging from the feedbacks i have achieved my objectives though not yours,like it was stated before it was meant for me.
All feedbacks are very much appreciated as it shows that theres people reading.
Stay tuned for the saga.Like a good movie it has its beginning then the complications followed by the climate and then the ending,its called the 3 act.
Thats the way i've written.
Its the way you perceive it to be.
Like a musician who writes his music for his own passion and if people like thats good and if they don't it doesn't matter.
As i have stated before the post are meant as leverage for myself.
Judging from the feedbacks i have achieved my objectives though not yours,like it was stated before it was meant for me.
All feedbacks are very much appreciated as it shows that theres people reading.
Stay tuned for the saga.Like a good movie it has its beginning then the complications followed by the climate and then the ending,its called the 3 act.
Thats the way i've written.
Its the way you perceive it to be.
IN THE HALLS OF AWAITING
CONTINUED AS PROMISED>>.......
Thanks to Miss stranger for reading my little known blog.
The disappointment set in and i was on the verge of breaking apart again.
I wasn't offered to go in the course i wanted so badly and i wasn't even offered to even go in the sonic arts course in Rp which was my 2nd choice,all the other choices are nothing but fill ins.
I was offered all nothing but design courses in mostly TP.
I was not interested in any of the design courses.
I was devastated.
Depression came back to me,it which was successfully put under control came back.
"Nooooooo,theres still a way"
I pulled myself back up refusing to give up.
I was working for Nicole's cousin's business at the time,they were great people and Dinah and Timothy brought me to Sp to appeal.
I was again devastated when i was told that my chances were very slim.
I broke down again.
Depression came back once again.
Once again the fighting spirit in me refused to back down like that.
With the counsellings of Dinah and Timothy i decided to appeal for Rp's sonic arts.
It was not what i really wanted but at least it was something close.
I applied for the DAE i think or something for Rp.
Then i waited holding on to my withering strength for the result of my application.
That day came.
Went to check online for my results of the application.
Yet again another setback.....
"How many setbacks must i endure?"
"I am already very tired,i had enough of all these."
"I gave my all to gain back control but all these is too much to take."
I broke down and cried and Dinah comforted me.
For the next few days i was broken,lifeless.
Then i decided ok thats it im giving whatever i have left now to try what i don't want but at least the prospect of it is not bad-moving images in Tp.
And so i got myself an interview for the course.
After that i could just wait patiently for the result.
That day came.
I didn't get in.
That was it.
"i hide from truth
living in denial
caught in a dream
afraid of waking
see through tears
uncried and forgotten
someone save me....
save me from my fate"
"the higher i climb
the deeper i fall
a downward spiral
to my destruction
my own mind
is my prison
is this the way...
the way it has to end....?"
"from now on there's an abscence of smile,of hope
foul voices welcome me to loneliness
now lonely is my road,path paved with bitter thoughts
conception of beauty excluded from this heart
within closed doors no one speaks,behind barred windows no soul lives
as i walk the soil beneath my feet is crumbling..."
"Now the light has faded away
night condensing around me,leading astray
left but anguish and shame to haunt me in the shades
so be it,perdition is my home
since the day it all came down"
"Sunless is the path i roam,bitter is the air i breathe
fell is the icy blast,coming from the hills
blowing through my ailing heart,wailing in the emptiness inside"
"Vanished is the light i had,hidden deep in rimy soil
all hope is long since gone
merciless the grasp of despair"
"would you come and share
my cross,my pain,my heartbroken nature
for this burden is too heavy tobear
too troublesome for one man to handle
since my darkness swallowed
the last gleam of light
i've been rambling in the shadows
hour after hour in the dark
they who never got sorrow
grinding grief in their hearts
never lost a thing
never had a thing
now these bitter tears run ceaseless
and drown my hope far too deep
i've been clothed in mourning
wearing sorrow day and night"
"these are my waking hours
in cold sunlight i pine away
towards yet another morning
till following hopeless day"
"wretched is my lot here,mirthless my fate
alone to face the cruel winters,endure the dreary cold
what is there to hope for,what is there to seek
whose sins am i atoning for?
whose lapses am i forced to undo?
TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>
Thanks to Miss stranger for reading my little known blog.
The disappointment set in and i was on the verge of breaking apart again.
I wasn't offered to go in the course i wanted so badly and i wasn't even offered to even go in the sonic arts course in Rp which was my 2nd choice,all the other choices are nothing but fill ins.
I was offered all nothing but design courses in mostly TP.
I was not interested in any of the design courses.
I was devastated.
Depression came back to me,it which was successfully put under control came back.
"Nooooooo,theres still a way"
I pulled myself back up refusing to give up.
I was working for Nicole's cousin's business at the time,they were great people and Dinah and Timothy brought me to Sp to appeal.
I was again devastated when i was told that my chances were very slim.
I broke down again.
Depression came back once again.
Once again the fighting spirit in me refused to back down like that.
With the counsellings of Dinah and Timothy i decided to appeal for Rp's sonic arts.
It was not what i really wanted but at least it was something close.
I applied for the DAE i think or something for Rp.
Then i waited holding on to my withering strength for the result of my application.
That day came.
Went to check online for my results of the application.
Yet again another setback.....
"How many setbacks must i endure?"
"I am already very tired,i had enough of all these."
"I gave my all to gain back control but all these is too much to take."
I broke down and cried and Dinah comforted me.
For the next few days i was broken,lifeless.
Then i decided ok thats it im giving whatever i have left now to try what i don't want but at least the prospect of it is not bad-moving images in Tp.
And so i got myself an interview for the course.
After that i could just wait patiently for the result.
That day came.
I didn't get in.
That was it.
"i hide from truth
living in denial
caught in a dream
afraid of waking
see through tears
uncried and forgotten
someone save me....
save me from my fate"
"the higher i climb
the deeper i fall
a downward spiral
to my destruction
my own mind
is my prison
is this the way...
the way it has to end....?"
"from now on there's an abscence of smile,of hope
foul voices welcome me to loneliness
now lonely is my road,path paved with bitter thoughts
conception of beauty excluded from this heart
within closed doors no one speaks,behind barred windows no soul lives
as i walk the soil beneath my feet is crumbling..."
"Now the light has faded away
night condensing around me,leading astray
left but anguish and shame to haunt me in the shades
so be it,perdition is my home
since the day it all came down"
"Sunless is the path i roam,bitter is the air i breathe
fell is the icy blast,coming from the hills
blowing through my ailing heart,wailing in the emptiness inside"
"Vanished is the light i had,hidden deep in rimy soil
all hope is long since gone
merciless the grasp of despair"
"would you come and share
my cross,my pain,my heartbroken nature
for this burden is too heavy tobear
too troublesome for one man to handle
since my darkness swallowed
the last gleam of light
i've been rambling in the shadows
hour after hour in the dark
they who never got sorrow
grinding grief in their hearts
never lost a thing
never had a thing
now these bitter tears run ceaseless
and drown my hope far too deep
i've been clothed in mourning
wearing sorrow day and night"
"these are my waking hours
in cold sunlight i pine away
towards yet another morning
till following hopeless day"
"wretched is my lot here,mirthless my fate
alone to face the cruel winters,endure the dreary cold
what is there to hope for,what is there to seek
whose sins am i atoning for?
whose lapses am i forced to undo?
TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>
Sunday, November 18, 2007
The bitter end?
What im going to type in the next few posts is going to be even more depressive than what i've ever done so far so be prepared.
Why am i putting so much emphasis on the pain?
I am creating leverage for myself,i need more leverage to push myself forth.
At times i submit myself to feeling disempowerment.
I have lots of fire burning but it gets smaller at times.
Lately i've have been feeling really down,the goal i set for myself seem more difficult the more i learnt about business etc.
Disempowering thoughts and questions were pulling me down.
So i need to associate as much pain as i can to the experience to break up my pattern to change everything,to turn things around.
By making it more painful ,painful to the point that i tell myself ok i must change or i rather be dead.
To then think and bring in the pleasures that will follow after changing the pain.
I will be sharing with you peeps soon on what technique im using to create that leverage to get out of pain and into pleasure.
There is going to be more posts on self improvements etc to come.
I will share whatever i can which i learnt to you peeps.
To learn from experience is good but if your can learn from someone's else experience thats better.
I couldn't be who i am now and to be if i didn't give myself that chance.
So to whoever who are reading ,if you have any areas in your life that you want to change please give yourself the chance.
Come to me if you want i will see how i can help you,i m more than willing to help.
I know i can't force you with all this information ,knowledge etc you will come when you are ready for it.
The saga of pain begins next>>.........IN THE HALLS OF AWAITING
One last thing,miss stranger pls do tag me if you can,it will be appreciated.haha.
Why am i putting so much emphasis on the pain?
I am creating leverage for myself,i need more leverage to push myself forth.
At times i submit myself to feeling disempowerment.
I have lots of fire burning but it gets smaller at times.
Lately i've have been feeling really down,the goal i set for myself seem more difficult the more i learnt about business etc.
Disempowering thoughts and questions were pulling me down.
So i need to associate as much pain as i can to the experience to break up my pattern to change everything,to turn things around.
By making it more painful ,painful to the point that i tell myself ok i must change or i rather be dead.
To then think and bring in the pleasures that will follow after changing the pain.
I will be sharing with you peeps soon on what technique im using to create that leverage to get out of pain and into pleasure.
There is going to be more posts on self improvements etc to come.
I will share whatever i can which i learnt to you peeps.
To learn from experience is good but if your can learn from someone's else experience thats better.
I couldn't be who i am now and to be if i didn't give myself that chance.
So to whoever who are reading ,if you have any areas in your life that you want to change please give yourself the chance.
Come to me if you want i will see how i can help you,i m more than willing to help.
I know i can't force you with all this information ,knowledge etc you will come when you are ready for it.
The saga of pain begins next>>.........IN THE HALLS OF AWAITING
One last thing,miss stranger pls do tag me if you can,it will be appreciated.haha.
Forging forth
After the long suffering in NS i took the first step towards my goal,i went to register
at bmc tampines to retake my o levels.
Then on i worked n studied the hardest i could.
The teachers knew i was hardworking and they acknowledged my ability to learn.
I was in the top few in my class.
I studied everyday at home.
I didn't have the intention to make friends in class at first,all i wanted to do was focus on my studies and head back home after school to study.
I read about mind power etc from the net and i was gaining control,confidence,esteem etc.
I was in a great shape.
Then along came 2 new classmates,they were girls.
They were friendly and i became their friend.
They told me i m cute,i was so flattered and in cloud 9.
That was the first time a girl said that to me.
It was unbelievable to me,that feeling was new to me something i could never have imagined.
I felt really good about myself.
Then along came more friends.
We headed out to tampines mall everyday after school like it was our second home.
Ate at long john silver almost everyday as the girls loved to eat at long john silver.
Slowy i got influenced by them and studied lesser.
But i still studied hard just not as hard.
Then came the real deal-the o levels.
I was confident and the papers were easy.
I was so sure that i could get less than 12 points and get into singapore poly without any trouble at all.
The day of reckoning came and it was in the mail.
The moment of opening it up was difficult.
But i was still sure i will get what i wanted.
Got it opened and read.
Heart dropped to the bottom.
I scored so badly,i couldn't believe it.
I failed my maths too.
I was lost.
I thought it was a mistake.
Infact i was so certain it was a mistake on their part or an error in their system.
My friends called me and i called them.
They too couldn't believe the score i was getting.
Told them that it must be a mistake so wait for the news at night to report about it.
I was deluding myself.
Night came.
The news aired and still there was nothing,no sign of a mistake or error in their system.
I started to lose hope.
Then i deluded myself again.
"theres still tomorrow isn't there?"
And so i held onto my delusion.
The next day came and another went by.
I finally resigned myself and gave up.
TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>>
at bmc tampines to retake my o levels.
Then on i worked n studied the hardest i could.
The teachers knew i was hardworking and they acknowledged my ability to learn.
I was in the top few in my class.
I studied everyday at home.
I didn't have the intention to make friends in class at first,all i wanted to do was focus on my studies and head back home after school to study.
I read about mind power etc from the net and i was gaining control,confidence,esteem etc.
I was in a great shape.
Then along came 2 new classmates,they were girls.
They were friendly and i became their friend.
They told me i m cute,i was so flattered and in cloud 9.
That was the first time a girl said that to me.
It was unbelievable to me,that feeling was new to me something i could never have imagined.
I felt really good about myself.
Then along came more friends.
We headed out to tampines mall everyday after school like it was our second home.
Ate at long john silver almost everyday as the girls loved to eat at long john silver.
Slowy i got influenced by them and studied lesser.
But i still studied hard just not as hard.
Then came the real deal-the o levels.
I was confident and the papers were easy.
I was so sure that i could get less than 12 points and get into singapore poly without any trouble at all.
The day of reckoning came and it was in the mail.
The moment of opening it up was difficult.
But i was still sure i will get what i wanted.
Got it opened and read.
Heart dropped to the bottom.
I scored so badly,i couldn't believe it.
I failed my maths too.
I was lost.
I thought it was a mistake.
Infact i was so certain it was a mistake on their part or an error in their system.
My friends called me and i called them.
They too couldn't believe the score i was getting.
Told them that it must be a mistake so wait for the news at night to report about it.
I was deluding myself.
Night came.
The news aired and still there was nothing,no sign of a mistake or error in their system.
I started to lose hope.
Then i deluded myself again.
"theres still tomorrow isn't there?"
And so i held onto my delusion.
The next day came and another went by.
I finally resigned myself and gave up.
TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>>
Saturday, November 17, 2007
DRUM xchange singapore
ERIC called me to join drum xchange singapore of www.soft.com.sg.
Drummers gather together to share tips,skills etc.
It was a nice experience,people gathering together for their passion.
Drummers gather together to share tips,skills etc.
It was a nice experience,people gathering together for their passion.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Finally the clouds cleared
CONTINUED..
IT was yet another day just like the day before in ns.
Bored to death and decaying.
Flipping through the newspaper i saw the silver lining at last.
New course at singapore poly-music technology.
I love music and this was like a calling for me.
I decided to retake my o levels something which i never ever wanted to do,
to study the course.
The fact that it is singapore poly didn't bother me at all,all that i knew was
that i wanted it and i was going to get it no matter what.
Nothing in the world was going to stop me except me.
I never knew that im capable of being so smart or have good memory until one day.
I was thinking of taking my driving license so i went to register with my ns friend and i read the theory book.
I had doubt of myself,i told him that i have poor memory.
He say no worries just keeping reading through over and over again im sure it will be in your head even if you dont want it to be,you will know it like the back of your hand.
I did so and i passed the theory test like nothing.
It was the start of me believing in myself.
MORE TO COME>>>>>>TO BE CONTINUED
IT was yet another day just like the day before in ns.
Bored to death and decaying.
Flipping through the newspaper i saw the silver lining at last.
New course at singapore poly-music technology.
I love music and this was like a calling for me.
I decided to retake my o levels something which i never ever wanted to do,
to study the course.
The fact that it is singapore poly didn't bother me at all,all that i knew was
that i wanted it and i was going to get it no matter what.
Nothing in the world was going to stop me except me.
I never knew that im capable of being so smart or have good memory until one day.
I was thinking of taking my driving license so i went to register with my ns friend and i read the theory book.
I had doubt of myself,i told him that i have poor memory.
He say no worries just keeping reading through over and over again im sure it will be in your head even if you dont want it to be,you will know it like the back of your hand.
I did so and i passed the theory test like nothing.
It was the start of me believing in myself.
MORE TO COME>>>>>>TO BE CONTINUED
Friday, November 2, 2007
Skin After Skin
CONTINUED
Lesson :
Depression is one of the most horrible thing someone can go through,i've been there done that i know.
Its tough really tough,it is very draining,drains one of whatever life he or she has left.
It is like a disease it keeps spreading throughout you,slowly taking over your life from the shadows it came from.
When it comes you cannot hide from it,infact sometimes you welcome it with open arms.
Negativity hits you from all sides,like walls closing in on you and you will feel suffocated.
The pain becomes too overwhelming that you rather die.
You wonder wheres the silver lining in the cloud or the light at the end of the tunnel that people often speak of.
You start to think everything is a lie.All you ever experienced was a lie,nothing means anything anymore.
Your heart dies leaving you nothing but an empty shell,dead heart in a dead world.
You go crazy because many things are racing through your already chaotic mind.
In truth it might seem that we are thinking of many things at once but actually its our thoughts queuing up one after another like a queue because the human brain does not think of many things at once it only can process a thing at a time.
So thats why it is valuable to learn the skill of positive thinking,because our thoughts are queued up for processing we can insert positive thoughts to cut to the first in queue to push back negative thoughts to the back.
In doing so you will be empowering yourself.
Like when i was on the edge of no return,i inserted other thoughts to quickly push back all the negativity.
Some might ask but isn't that a bad idea too as you will be pushing back the negativity to the back of the queue doesn't that means that one day it will still come back and its square one again?
Yes,it comes back but by pushing the negativity to the back it gives you time in your clear state of mind to cut off and eliminate totally all the negativity thats left at the back of the queue.
More to be continued as usual....well well well i wonder how many people actually reads my blog...hmmmmm
Lesson :
Depression is one of the most horrible thing someone can go through,i've been there done that i know.
Its tough really tough,it is very draining,drains one of whatever life he or she has left.
It is like a disease it keeps spreading throughout you,slowly taking over your life from the shadows it came from.
When it comes you cannot hide from it,infact sometimes you welcome it with open arms.
Negativity hits you from all sides,like walls closing in on you and you will feel suffocated.
The pain becomes too overwhelming that you rather die.
You wonder wheres the silver lining in the cloud or the light at the end of the tunnel that people often speak of.
You start to think everything is a lie.All you ever experienced was a lie,nothing means anything anymore.
Your heart dies leaving you nothing but an empty shell,dead heart in a dead world.
You go crazy because many things are racing through your already chaotic mind.
In truth it might seem that we are thinking of many things at once but actually its our thoughts queuing up one after another like a queue because the human brain does not think of many things at once it only can process a thing at a time.
So thats why it is valuable to learn the skill of positive thinking,because our thoughts are queued up for processing we can insert positive thoughts to cut to the first in queue to push back negative thoughts to the back.
In doing so you will be empowering yourself.
Like when i was on the edge of no return,i inserted other thoughts to quickly push back all the negativity.
Some might ask but isn't that a bad idea too as you will be pushing back the negativity to the back of the queue doesn't that means that one day it will still come back and its square one again?
Yes,it comes back but by pushing the negativity to the back it gives you time in your clear state of mind to cut off and eliminate totally all the negativity thats left at the back of the queue.
More to be continued as usual....well well well i wonder how many people actually reads my blog...hmmmmm
Monday, October 29, 2007
The moment of reckoning
CONTINUED
"You are not as hollow as you think Elias"
Those words came into mind.
My thoughts were of my mother and my dog.
"can you bear to leave them behind?"
"they will be so devastated if you are gone.
You can end your miserable life and leave this world
but they are still living and they have to bear the burden ,the cross of you being gone.Are you that heartless?"
"You still have many unaccomplished things in life,things to experience etc.
How can you just leave like that?
You hate to lose so why give up?
You have a strong will to survive since birth and have endured through
the many setbacks,bad lucks,etc in life so why give up now?
You know that you are born to achieve great things in life so why end it?
You have to prove to yourself and people!!!"
My mind was filled with empowering positive thoughts and i was reborn that moment.
TO BE CONTINUED....
"You are not as hollow as you think Elias"
Those words came into mind.
My thoughts were of my mother and my dog.
"can you bear to leave them behind?"
"they will be so devastated if you are gone.
You can end your miserable life and leave this world
but they are still living and they have to bear the burden ,the cross of you being gone.Are you that heartless?"
"You still have many unaccomplished things in life,things to experience etc.
How can you just leave like that?
You hate to lose so why give up?
You have a strong will to survive since birth and have endured through
the many setbacks,bad lucks,etc in life so why give up now?
You know that you are born to achieve great things in life so why end it?
You have to prove to yourself and people!!!"
My mind was filled with empowering positive thoughts and i was reborn that moment.
TO BE CONTINUED....
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Death whispered a lullaby
After leaving secondary school i worked various part time jobs for 2 years.I've worked as sales man,sales assistant,mover,cashier,waiter,flyers distributer door to door and flyers distributer.
I managed to defer ns for those 2 years as i put that i was trying lasalle,i wanted to study music in lasalle as i love music but i don't have the music grades so i interviewed for some backstage thing luckily i didn't get through.
So i worked and slacked those 2 years and my favourite job was distributing flyers door to door,even though it was very tiring but i had fun as i enjoyed the freedom.
I was still very miserable,i didn't know what i could do in life.
I was suffering from depression,i felt that i had nothing,noone and no future.
Finally i was enlisted into ns.The start of the damage done.
"afraid of this slow decay
you see me fade away"
Bmt was fun,i had great fun.
Then came the posting to various units.
I was posted to be an Rp,i was gleaming.
But reality was not kind to me,i was actually posted to the worst of RP-air force RP.
Everything was terrible,i was more miserable than ever alot of people were miserable too when they realised just what they got into.
"attached to this gloom i see
raping myself to be free..."
My mental state from that moment on went to a downward spiral,my platoon mates noticed that i looked very depressed.
They would ask me whether i was fine.
It was tough to be away from my dog,my room and my friends.
The distance between me and my friends was increasing as i was in ns and they were busy in poly.
So i felt really lonely.
I made a net friend,her name is deb short for debra.
I shared with her my problems etc and she told me to pick up the pieces of my life and move on.
Soon she left to Australia for studies.
I felt left behind.
I wanted to seek help,wanted to go to the army counseling
but didn't as it will appear on my report and when i work next time
it will affect the employers in the way they see me
"all i feel in this weary hour
is weakness and dismay
in solitude
thoughts revolve around your way
all i see is you slipping further away
lost in a void of grey..."
I've also shared my problems etc with my best friend chris whom is like a brother to me.
But the more i shared the more i felt that maybe i shouldn't have shared it as i felt he didn't get what i was saying,what i was suffering.
I felt foolish,that my words didn't reach him,i felt i couldn't reach anyone.
So why even bother trying?
I should had stayed in my shell,no one will understand.
All of what im suffering is nothing.
Im nothing
Those were my thoughts.
"i'm yearning to reveal my burden
for the sake of sympathy,
another moment lost
lenient efforts sink down in to oblivion and
my irrelevance shines completely through"
Theres alot more for me to type etc which happened .
but im just cutting short alot of stuff but i might get to them next time.
"bewailing my memories
my death is all that i claim
nothing could fill my insanity
my opaque apathy bleeds.."
As time passed so did the pain,loneliness etc,the negative side just kept growing i felt suffocated.
I became suicidal,i kept visualizing of killing myself to end it all.
" spending all my time
trying to prove to myself
you're not as hollow as you seem
suffering and love seem to have the same face
leading this soul towards the end"
I thought to myself. I have nothing,no gf,no real home,no money,no way of competing with people with diplomas and degrees etc.
I really felt i had nothing.
I had low self esteem,confidence since secondary school.
That is another story for another time.
I felt that i had mostly bad luck.
I didn't know what my purpose in life was.
I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I hated myself,the way i look,think etc.
"with this loathe engrained in me
i falter in despair
i perish away in my taint of shame
lost,astray again...."
I always believed that im meant to achieve great things in life.
To have my wings clipped and fall to the ground with no hope of ever flying again,
i gave up my last positive thought.
It was my night shift to do duty.
I sat outside the guardroom with my platoon mates sleeping inside.
Surrounded by darkness,my mind lapsed into darkness.
"i will no more embrace this rape so wild.
i pray this stair to end
i can't go deeper
i see no light,no end..."
I had my rifle and a magazine which was loaded.
I loaded my magazine into my rifle.
Sitting there in the darkness,i pointed my rifle to my head.
"time to end it all,this is the end of my journey"
tears came rolling down my cheeks as i thought about my mom,dog etc
How i was going to leave them all behind,what i didn't accomplish,what i didn't experience etc.
My mind was racing.Heart pounding.
"asunder of this painful theft
theft of all i had
i feel so ashamed,embraced with hate
as death leaves me to wait"
To be continued.......
I managed to defer ns for those 2 years as i put that i was trying lasalle,i wanted to study music in lasalle as i love music but i don't have the music grades so i interviewed for some backstage thing luckily i didn't get through.
So i worked and slacked those 2 years and my favourite job was distributing flyers door to door,even though it was very tiring but i had fun as i enjoyed the freedom.
I was still very miserable,i didn't know what i could do in life.
I was suffering from depression,i felt that i had nothing,noone and no future.
Finally i was enlisted into ns.The start of the damage done.
"afraid of this slow decay
you see me fade away"
Bmt was fun,i had great fun.
Then came the posting to various units.
I was posted to be an Rp,i was gleaming.
But reality was not kind to me,i was actually posted to the worst of RP-air force RP.
Everything was terrible,i was more miserable than ever alot of people were miserable too when they realised just what they got into.
"attached to this gloom i see
raping myself to be free..."
My mental state from that moment on went to a downward spiral,my platoon mates noticed that i looked very depressed.
They would ask me whether i was fine.
It was tough to be away from my dog,my room and my friends.
The distance between me and my friends was increasing as i was in ns and they were busy in poly.
So i felt really lonely.
I made a net friend,her name is deb short for debra.
I shared with her my problems etc and she told me to pick up the pieces of my life and move on.
Soon she left to Australia for studies.
I felt left behind.
I wanted to seek help,wanted to go to the army counseling
but didn't as it will appear on my report and when i work next time
it will affect the employers in the way they see me
"all i feel in this weary hour
is weakness and dismay
in solitude
thoughts revolve around your way
all i see is you slipping further away
lost in a void of grey..."
I've also shared my problems etc with my best friend chris whom is like a brother to me.
But the more i shared the more i felt that maybe i shouldn't have shared it as i felt he didn't get what i was saying,what i was suffering.
I felt foolish,that my words didn't reach him,i felt i couldn't reach anyone.
So why even bother trying?
I should had stayed in my shell,no one will understand.
All of what im suffering is nothing.
Im nothing
Those were my thoughts.
"i'm yearning to reveal my burden
for the sake of sympathy,
another moment lost
lenient efforts sink down in to oblivion and
my irrelevance shines completely through"
Theres alot more for me to type etc which happened .
but im just cutting short alot of stuff but i might get to them next time.
"bewailing my memories
my death is all that i claim
nothing could fill my insanity
my opaque apathy bleeds.."
As time passed so did the pain,loneliness etc,the negative side just kept growing i felt suffocated.
I became suicidal,i kept visualizing of killing myself to end it all.
" spending all my time
trying to prove to myself
you're not as hollow as you seem
suffering and love seem to have the same face
leading this soul towards the end"
I thought to myself. I have nothing,no gf,no real home,no money,no way of competing with people with diplomas and degrees etc.
I really felt i had nothing.
I had low self esteem,confidence since secondary school.
That is another story for another time.
I felt that i had mostly bad luck.
I didn't know what my purpose in life was.
I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I hated myself,the way i look,think etc.
"with this loathe engrained in me
i falter in despair
i perish away in my taint of shame
lost,astray again...."
I always believed that im meant to achieve great things in life.
To have my wings clipped and fall to the ground with no hope of ever flying again,
i gave up my last positive thought.
It was my night shift to do duty.
I sat outside the guardroom with my platoon mates sleeping inside.
Surrounded by darkness,my mind lapsed into darkness.
"i will no more embrace this rape so wild.
i pray this stair to end
i can't go deeper
i see no light,no end..."
I had my rifle and a magazine which was loaded.
I loaded my magazine into my rifle.
Sitting there in the darkness,i pointed my rifle to my head.
"time to end it all,this is the end of my journey"
tears came rolling down my cheeks as i thought about my mom,dog etc
How i was going to leave them all behind,what i didn't accomplish,what i didn't experience etc.
My mind was racing.Heart pounding.
"asunder of this painful theft
theft of all i had
i feel so ashamed,embraced with hate
as death leaves me to wait"
To be continued.......
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Follow the hollow
CONTINUED.....
Lesson Learnt:"Circumstances doesn't control a man,men are in control of how circumstances affects them"-Elias Titus
As bad as my circumstances seemed to me at that point of time,the brutal truth is that im to be blamed for letting all of it to affect me.I allowed what was happening at home to affect me in my studies and life.We are the one in control of our destinies.It boils down to the choices we make in life,what we choose is what affects us not the environment,people or circumstances.A person born into a abusive family can either choose to grow up to be whatever his/her parents is like or choose to be the opposite and be the most caring person around.Its all up to us so don't make the mistake of letting your situation,environment,people etc to control you.
To say something like"but i was born into a family and my parents abuses me so i've grown into an abusive parent myself" is nothing but excuses,to shift the blame from oneself onto someone or thing,to play the victim role which people are good at so we feel better of ourselves.Yes,circumstances,environment,people etc can influence us but the truth is that we have to power to choose,we choose whether it affects us or not.Be responsible for yourself for noone else is.
To be continued.......what again?.....
Lesson Learnt:"Circumstances doesn't control a man,men are in control of how circumstances affects them"-Elias Titus
As bad as my circumstances seemed to me at that point of time,the brutal truth is that im to be blamed for letting all of it to affect me.I allowed what was happening at home to affect me in my studies and life.We are the one in control of our destinies.It boils down to the choices we make in life,what we choose is what affects us not the environment,people or circumstances.A person born into a abusive family can either choose to grow up to be whatever his/her parents is like or choose to be the opposite and be the most caring person around.Its all up to us so don't make the mistake of letting your situation,environment,people etc to control you.
To say something like"but i was born into a family and my parents abuses me so i've grown into an abusive parent myself" is nothing but excuses,to shift the blame from oneself onto someone or thing,to play the victim role which people are good at so we feel better of ourselves.Yes,circumstances,environment,people etc can influence us but the truth is that we have to power to choose,we choose whether it affects us or not.Be responsible for yourself for noone else is.
To be continued.......what again?.....
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Since the day it all came down
I was an extremely mischievous boy since kindergarden,i used to fight a lot and i was talkative too.My talkativeness got me changing seats often by my teachers but that didn't stop me from talking and not paying attention in class.Then in secondary 6 i decided to study hard for the psle,it was the first time in a long time that i actually studied hard.With all the hard work i passed my psle and went on to st'patrick's school.
I had many great friends from secondary 1 but most of them transfered to another school one after another.It affected me as i had lesser friends.Then came the splitting of classes for sec 3 to a class taking history or geography.This split further affected me as my close friends were no longer in the same class as me,i was in the history class.
It was during this period of time that my brother got to know a "girl" from god knows where.Theres a lot to type but im just going to cut a long story short for this part of the story."She" moved in to stay with the opposition of my mom.Day in and day out my brother would quarrel with "her" and it affected me like the way children does when their parents quarrels in front of them.It was just plain hell,i felt like my home was no longer home.IT affected me in my studies as well.This problem at home coupled with my friends getting lesser in school affected me to the point that i somehow became quieter and also became anti social.This was the start of me becoming a very angry young man and also the start of my depression which then lasted for 7 years.I was not motivated to study as i didnt have a goal to work towards.I was not interested of any course in poly,jc n ite so i didnt felt the need for me to study.Eventually i failed my 'O'levels.The day of the results came and i went to collect my results,when i saw my results i was not feeling anything i had become numbed.I expected the results.I was not really affected by it initially but as time passed it slowly ate me from the inside.
TO BE CONTINUED......
I had many great friends from secondary 1 but most of them transfered to another school one after another.It affected me as i had lesser friends.Then came the splitting of classes for sec 3 to a class taking history or geography.This split further affected me as my close friends were no longer in the same class as me,i was in the history class.
It was during this period of time that my brother got to know a "girl" from god knows where.Theres a lot to type but im just going to cut a long story short for this part of the story."She" moved in to stay with the opposition of my mom.Day in and day out my brother would quarrel with "her" and it affected me like the way children does when their parents quarrels in front of them.It was just plain hell,i felt like my home was no longer home.IT affected me in my studies as well.This problem at home coupled with my friends getting lesser in school affected me to the point that i somehow became quieter and also became anti social.This was the start of me becoming a very angry young man and also the start of my depression which then lasted for 7 years.I was not motivated to study as i didnt have a goal to work towards.I was not interested of any course in poly,jc n ite so i didnt felt the need for me to study.Eventually i failed my 'O'levels.The day of the results came and i went to collect my results,when i saw my results i was not feeling anything i had become numbed.I expected the results.I was not really affected by it initially but as time passed it slowly ate me from the inside.
TO BE CONTINUED......
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
The scattering of ashes
Im going to blog about what i want to become,to achieve,etc but before i do that im going to share with you my story what i've been through,what i learnt etc so keep coming back for updates.Theres so much that i want to type and to share so i will try to the best of my ability to blog about it to u.
Bear with it as there will be many parts.Thank your for taking some time off to read through what im about to embark on and hope u can learn some things from my story.
Bear with it as there will be many parts.Thank your for taking some time off to read through what im about to embark on and hope u can learn some things from my story.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Thought of the day
"your time is limited so don't waste it living someone else's live.
Don't be trapped by dogma which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of other opinions drown out your own inner voice.
And most importantly have the courage to follow your heart and intuition,they somehow already know what you truly want to become,everything else is secondary.-steve jobs
Don't be trapped by dogma which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of other opinions drown out your own inner voice.
And most importantly have the courage to follow your heart and intuition,they somehow already know what you truly want to become,everything else is secondary.-steve jobs
Friday, October 19, 2007
More posts coming up
More posts coming up.I have no idea how many people actually reads my blog so pls tag me so i know who passes by,anything will do even a hi and bye.
Now i shall leave u to this-THINK BIG AND KICK ASS!!!
Now i shall leave u to this-THINK BIG AND KICK ASS!!!
THINK BIG AND KICK ASS
Here is a food for thought for u peeps.
Remembering that i will be dead soon is the most important tool i've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.
Because almost everything ,all external expectations or pride or fear of embarrassment or failure,these things just fall away in the face of death leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that your are going to die is the best way i know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.
You are already naked there is no reason not to follow your heart.-Steve Jobs
Remembering that i will be dead soon is the most important tool i've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.
Because almost everything ,all external expectations or pride or fear of embarrassment or failure,these things just fall away in the face of death leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that your are going to die is the best way i know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.
You are already naked there is no reason not to follow your heart.-Steve Jobs
Contemplation
During the holidays,being away from school life freed me from the mindset of a student and actually allowed me to think.The thought of quitting my current ite course came into mind.My previous goal and plan was to do well in school and start up my own business by next year while schooling,then my thoughts led me to thinking of quitting the course so i can concentrate on my goals full time.
Came monday the start of a new school term.While in class a thought came into mind."I should quit and study business in ite or a private school".
Then i got back home and made my calls to my mentor and friends to listen to their thoughts on it.I then went online to look up on the business courses offered in ite,"damn i thought to myself,all these courses are of no use to me in the future as they teach you to manage events,other people's businesses and accounting,i don't want to study those".so i went on to sim website to see.The same thing they are teaching stuffs not what i want to learn so finally i made up my mind not to leave ite and to carry on with my plans .I will research and study about business through the net,books and people instead,this way i save money on paying thousands to these private schools and i learn only what i need to learn.
Came monday the start of a new school term.While in class a thought came into mind."I should quit and study business in ite or a private school".
Then i got back home and made my calls to my mentor and friends to listen to their thoughts on it.I then went online to look up on the business courses offered in ite,"damn i thought to myself,all these courses are of no use to me in the future as they teach you to manage events,other people's businesses and accounting,i don't want to study those".so i went on to sim website to see.The same thing they are teaching stuffs not what i want to learn so finally i made up my mind not to leave ite and to carry on with my plans .I will research and study about business through the net,books and people instead,this way i save money on paying thousands to these private schools and i learn only what i need to learn.
Friday, September 28, 2007
3rd day of shooting[final]
So here it is the 3rd day of shooting which is also the final.Oops n i still haven't intro the two hong kong students to you peeps,the guy is Rix n the girl is Kay,btw they will be our 2nd teacher when school reopens.So yeah davp will be seeing them real soon.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
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