CONTINUED AS PROMISED>>.......
Thanks to Miss stranger for reading my little known blog.
The disappointment set in and i was on the verge of breaking apart again.
I wasn't offered to go in the course i wanted so badly and i wasn't even offered to even go in the sonic arts course in Rp which was my 2nd choice,all the other choices are nothing but fill ins.
I was offered all nothing but design courses in mostly TP.
I was not interested in any of the design courses.
I was devastated.
Depression came back to me,it which was successfully put under control came back.
"Nooooooo,theres still a way"
I pulled myself back up refusing to give up.
I was working for Nicole's cousin's business at the time,they were great people and Dinah and Timothy brought me to Sp to appeal.
I was again devastated when i was told that my chances were very slim.
I broke down again.
Depression came back once again.
Once again the fighting spirit in me refused to back down like that.
With the counsellings of Dinah and Timothy i decided to appeal for Rp's sonic arts.
It was not what i really wanted but at least it was something close.
I applied for the DAE i think or something for Rp.
Then i waited holding on to my withering strength for the result of my application.
That day came.
Went to check online for my results of the application.
Yet again another setback.....
"How many setbacks must i endure?"
"I am already very tired,i had enough of all these."
"I gave my all to gain back control but all these is too much to take."
I broke down and cried and Dinah comforted me.
For the next few days i was broken,lifeless.
Then i decided ok thats it im giving whatever i have left now to try what i don't want but at least the prospect of it is not bad-moving images in Tp.
And so i got myself an interview for the course.
After that i could just wait patiently for the result.
That day came.
I didn't get in.
That was it.
"i hide from truth
living in denial
caught in a dream
afraid of waking
see through tears
uncried and forgotten
someone save me....
save me from my fate"
"the higher i climb
the deeper i fall
a downward spiral
to my destruction
my own mind
is my prison
is this the way...
the way it has to end....?"
"from now on there's an abscence of smile,of hope
foul voices welcome me to loneliness
now lonely is my road,path paved with bitter thoughts
conception of beauty excluded from this heart
within closed doors no one speaks,behind barred windows no soul lives
as i walk the soil beneath my feet is crumbling..."
"Now the light has faded away
night condensing around me,leading astray
left but anguish and shame to haunt me in the shades
so be it,perdition is my home
since the day it all came down"
"Sunless is the path i roam,bitter is the air i breathe
fell is the icy blast,coming from the hills
blowing through my ailing heart,wailing in the emptiness inside"
"Vanished is the light i had,hidden deep in rimy soil
all hope is long since gone
merciless the grasp of despair"
"would you come and share
my cross,my pain,my heartbroken nature
for this burden is too heavy tobear
too troublesome for one man to handle
since my darkness swallowed
the last gleam of light
i've been rambling in the shadows
hour after hour in the dark
they who never got sorrow
grinding grief in their hearts
never lost a thing
never had a thing
now these bitter tears run ceaseless
and drown my hope far too deep
i've been clothed in mourning
wearing sorrow day and night"
"these are my waking hours
in cold sunlight i pine away
towards yet another morning
till following hopeless day"
"wretched is my lot here,mirthless my fate
alone to face the cruel winters,endure the dreary cold
what is there to hope for,what is there to seek
whose sins am i atoning for?
whose lapses am i forced to undo?
TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>
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