Forging forth

After the long suffering in NS i took the first step towards my goal,i went to register
at bmc tampines to retake my o levels.
Then on i worked n studied the hardest i could.
The teachers knew i was hardworking and they acknowledged my ability to learn.
I was in the top few in my class.
I studied everyday at home.
I didn't have the intention to make friends in class at first,all i wanted to do was focus on my studies and head back home after school to study.
I read about mind power etc from the net and i was gaining control,confidence,esteem etc.
I was in a great shape.


Then along came 2 new classmates,they were girls.
They were friendly and i became their friend.
They told me i m cute,i was so flattered and in cloud 9.
That was the first time a girl said that to me.
It was unbelievable to me,that feeling was new to me something i could never have imagined.
I felt really good about myself.


Then along came more friends.
We headed out to tampines mall everyday after school like it was our second home.
Ate at long john silver almost everyday as the girls loved to eat at long john silver.
Slowy i got influenced by them and studied lesser.
But i still studied hard just not as hard.


Then came the real deal-the o levels.
I was confident and the papers were easy.
I was so sure that i could get less than 12 points and get into singapore poly without any trouble at all.





The day of reckoning came and it was in the mail.
The moment of opening it up was difficult.
But i was still sure i will get what i wanted.
Got it opened and read.
Heart dropped to the bottom.
I scored so badly,i couldn't believe it.
I failed my maths too.
I was lost.
I thought it was a mistake.
Infact i was so certain it was a mistake on their part or an error in their system.
My friends called me and i called them.
They too couldn't believe the score i was getting.
Told them that it must be a mistake so wait for the news at night to report about it.
I was deluding myself.


Night came.
The news aired and still there was nothing,no sign of a mistake or error in their system.
I started to lose hope.
Then i deluded myself again.
"theres still tomorrow isn't there?"
And so i held onto my delusion.


The next day came and another went by.
I finally resigned myself and gave up.



TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>>