The introvert advantage

I'm currently reading a book-the introvert advantage. To help me to better understand myself and others and for those who are extroverts to understand us.

Interestingly the blood flow of introverts and extroverts are different.
First, in reaseach it has shown that there is more blood flow to the brains in introverts compared to extroverts.
More blood flow indicates more internal stimulation.

The pathway is more complicated and focused internally. The introverts' blood flowed to the parts of the brain involved with internal experiences like remembering, solving problems, and planning. The pathway is long and complex. The introverts were attending to their internal thoughts and feelings.

The extroverts' blood flowed to the areas of the brain where visual, auditory, touch, and taste sensory processing occurs. Their main pathway is short and less complicated.


And there are examples given in the book which shows that.
From my personal experiences, I always felt lousy that I don't think as fast and speak as fast or to verbalise more as extroverts do. But the truth is that whenever someone ask me regarding something it takes me quiet some time to generate what to say because it goes through a lot of thinking and reflecting internally. So often people would think that I'm blur/blank etc but I'm actually internalizing thoughts and feelings.

Wait for your Boaz

For all the single ladies in such a hurry to get married here is a piece of Biblical advice. Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. So while waiting on your Boaz, please do not settle for any of his relatives … Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheatin-az, Dumb-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothin-az, Lazy-az or Married-az and especially his third cousin Beatinyo-az. Please wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yo-az!”

—	~Unknown Source~

6 basic human needs

As humans we all have needs and wants and we are motivated in our actions to get away from pain (push) or to get pleasure (pull).

1. Certainty

We all want know that we’re safe, and that we can count on certain things in life to happen (or not to happen).  We want certainty the car will start, the water will flow from the tap when we turn it on and the floorboards will support us when we get up in the morning.

2. Variety

At the same time we need certainty, we also crave novelty. Paradoxically, there needs to be enough uncertainty to provide intrigue and excitement in our lives.

3. Significance

Deep down, we all want to be valued for who we are. We want our life to have meaning and significance. We want to “matter”.

4. Connection/Love

We’re alive because someone (even if it was in a dysfunctional way) loved us. We need to feel loved, feel part of a community, and feel cared for and cared about.

5. Growth

We have a need to become better, to improve our skills, to stretch, expand and excel.  This need may be more evident in some than others, but it is present in all of us.

6. Contribution

The desire to make the world a better place than we found it is the final human need.  It is the need to contribute something of value, to help and uplift others somehow.

Do not feed the monkey

Do not feed the monkey!!!

I was thinking about the situation about someone i know and also in human's life.
Then came this title to me-Do not feed the monkey!

Pray before reading as this can get confrontational. Confrontations of this nature is good so take it with a good heart.

This friend whom i know lets call him James for now. James is a case of being lost and filled with wrong spirits due to things that happened to him in his past. Sad is such a case but sympathy is to be shown not pity.
There are a lot of people who went through and goes through injustice, pain, suffering, torment, abuse etc in this human experience call life. None of us escapes the consequences of what  Adam and Eve done. None of us are spared. The thing is that in life, we may not control what happens to us as life is such that we are all linked together. In another words we are built for relationship by our Creator God. What we do and say do not just affects that person alone but  also people around as well. It is selfish and foolish to think and say that " its my life, i do and say what i want". We may not control what happens but we can control how and what we become from it.

The key word is responsibility. We are to be responsible to how we react, how we talk, how we think, how we feel, how we live. One cannot simply place the blame on the things and happenings in our life for doing so is not taking responsibility. Not being a good steward. Part of being a good and faithful steward and servant is to be responsible first and foremost of ourselves.

What are we feeding our lives with? Negative or positive thoughts? Defeat or victory? Strength or frailness? Pain or joy? Resentment or surrender? Humility or pride?

We see signs that reads "do not feed the monkeys" and there is a reason why it is there. It is there for the purpose of boundary meant to protect the monkeys and the people wanting to feed the monkeys. Monkeys are wild and meant to survive by finding and getting their own food. So by us humans going in and feeding them, it upsets the natural balance and the way they were created to be. When we feed the monkeys we make them adopt the new pattern that they can get food from people and not find and get for themselves so when times comes when they is no one to feed them, because they lose the ability to survive on their own  they end up dying of hunger. How sad is that? Not only that. When we feed the monkeys, because they are wild and the action of feeding them causes them to turn aggressive and injure the person feeding them and also snatching food from the person.

All that starts from the good intention that we have. We may have good intentions and there is nothing wrong with it but we must have wisdom otherwise what started out with good intentions can turn nasty and turn it's head to bite you back.

Intentions are never good enough even if it is good.It has to be done with wisdom. What you think may be good for that person might just become the very thing that becomes the catalyst to the grown of the root issue in the person.

Especially women are to be extra careful in this matter. As women are born with maternal instinct so naturally you would want to nurture and be like a caring figure to the person. You see a hurting person and go "ohhh so poor thing, i shall come and help you and love you". Women are to be extra careful when the person in need of attention is a guy. Guys in such stage are vulnerable and when anyone is in a vulnerable stage he/she is reaching out and grabbing whatever that is in reach to cling onto. If he/she clings onto pain, anger, bitterness, things, or a person then it is unhealthy but if he/she clings onto God then it becomes the turning point. Anything other than that will fall short.

When we go beyond supporting and encouraging the person in pain we end up "feeding the monkey" and he/she loses the ability to fight and stand for him/herself and to draw from God. If you feed the monkey you end up as his/her source of strength.